Money, Hug a Dove
I don’t really know how to write this post—all I really know is that there are some freaking hilarious and heartwarming phrases real people who breathe real oxygen like me are using to find my blog. I don’t understand how in the WORLD these phrases are bringing up way-to-serious-let-me-just-crawl-under-a-rock-and-cry-Tiffini’s blog but, lo and behold, they are and I really have to share them because, right now, I’m like, “I really want to know who the heck you people ARE, so we can actually have a conversation, because I am one hundred percent positive it would be a FASCINATING one.” That being said—if any of you used any of the following phrases to locate my blog via a search engine….. (a) please tell me and (be) God bless you; thank you for the daily chuckles and head shakes.
- Money, hug a dove. An outstanding 10 people used this phrase to find me. While at first, I was like, “dude, when have I EVER wrote about a dove?? and what dove would hug a dollar?” , the light eventually began to come on. Because, after replaying it a dozen times in my brain, that first thought sparked another: “No dove would hug a dollar because doves don’t need dollars.” Then I started thinking about doves. Not all birds are pretty.
Doves, on the other hand, are.
That thought led to another: “Sometimes we think that we have to have money to have pretty things”, so the phrase could have been saying, “Hug your money so you’ll stay pretty.” That thought royally ticked me off, because I know that some of the prettiest people I know don’t have money. I once met a homeless man who was a real angel and who’s smile was the biggest, brightest and prettiest of anyone I’ve ever met. One of the most influential and important gifts I’ve ever been given was a hug from my eleventh grade English teacher, and that cost him nothing. So all of those thoughts made me wonder about the intelligence of doves.
I googled “are doves smart?”
I learned that no, not really. In fact, they lack the neonatal cortex of the mammal brain, which is central to higher level logical thinking. Doves are capable of learning flight tricks (as in magic shows), and they can remember where things are, but they aren’t “intelligent”, not, say, like a parrot. So then that research led me to think that a dove MIGHT hug a dollar but only because it didn’t know that money isn’t going to help it. That made me feel sorry for the dove. That made me want to write a blog dedicated to doves. You know, to help them see the light. I still might do that. So, whoever searched me out using “money hug a dove”, thanks for the edifying research and possible blog inspiration — but I hope YOU know better than to hug money. 🙂
- Perfect woman. A satisfying 23 people searched me out using this term. To this, I say, I sure am. So glad you know it. Then I remembered that I unfortunately wrote a blog called “An American Woman,” and maybe that’s what they were trying to find. That squeezed the air out of my momentarily inflated ego but then I realized that, really, if that was true and they were just trying to find my “American Woman” blog, then they were just telling me that American women are perfect women. I happen to BE an American woman so logic then says I would still fall under their “perfect woman” category. YES! 🙂
- tiffini swallow. This one, I have to say, bothers me. Swallows what exactly? I’m kind of particular about what I swallow. Also, just a bit offended. I mean, broccoli’s okay but asparagus—not going down my throat. And if it’s not edible, it’s surely not going to be swallowed by Tiffini. Then, I had a thought: my name is spelled really weird. In fact, I’ve been alive 30 years and have never met a Tiffini who spells her name “ini.” I’ve met a bunch of Tiffani’s, a couple of Tiffinie’s and one really funky Tiphanie but never another Tiffini. So I thought maybe this searcher was thinking of another Tiffini so I double checked. Nope, it was spelled Tiffini. So then I went to spokeo.com, typed in my name with my spelling and—gasp!—there are OTHER ME’S! I’m not very special. In fact, there are 11 Tiffini’s in CA alone and FOUR in TENNESSEE. One of those is me, but, I’m like, WHERE ARE THE OTHER THREE TIFFINI’S IN TN?!? We should so get together and start a club about something. But, upon further research, 2 out of the 4 were me (strange, that) and I’m rather dubious about the other 2 found, as well, in TN. So THAT means I’m probably the only REAL Tiffini in TN. I don’t know whether that makes me proud or sad. Anyway, back to the search term here…. if you weren’t looking for one of the 11 Tiffini’s in CA or the 6 in MS… I think you should really clarify exactly what you meant by “tiffini swallow”. Until then, I’ll just pretend you were talking about chocolate because I do love chocolate.
- Hugz department alwyz open. In the last 30 days, 18 of you searched for this. That is astounding. I am a hugger. I really do love hugs. They make you feel safe, cherished, warm, protected and cared for…. who needs a hug? In fact, did you know that not so long ago, some college students made signs saying, “Free Hugs!” and carried them around on a busy downtown street and gave away hugs all day. Some people thought they were nuts but others welcomed the hugs strangers were giving. It made them smile. It made them feel better about being alive that day. One day, I might even make such a sign, go downtown and give away free hugs. Until then—keep reading the blog and I hope it keeps making you feel warm and fuzzy. 🙂
- Something small but beautiful. You really know how to get to a girl’s heart, whoever you are. This is one of my personal favorites. In fact, I think I might just have it engraved and hung on my walls.
- Landon Montgomery hero. The 13 brilliant people who searched for this and found me made my day. Your assessment of my imaginary character is spot on and absolutely lovely. Landon Montgomery was a character in one of my not yet published books, Dreams of the Heart. He wasn’t based on any real person, he was a complete figment of my imagination, but I have been in love with him for years. He is indeed a hero and it makes me GIDDY that his name and perfect-ness is already known! I cannot wait to have an out loud, imaginary conversation with him during which I will SO tell him about this search term. He IS indeed a hero!
And the number one search term during the past 30 days for my blog, receiving an amazing 235 searches in the last 30 days (drumroll):
Fragile. At first, I have to admit, I was a disappointed. I have spent the last 20 years working overtime to make sure people understand that, while I cry at the drop of a hat, don’t look it and almost never act it—I am not fragile. I’m actually pretty strong. If you don’t believe me, challenge me to do something—pretty much anything—that you don’t think I can do and watch me prove you wrong. I can take care of myself, and don’t need protection. And I have worked extra hard to prove this because almost nobody believes it. So—at first, this term which has been excessively used to find my blog—annoyed me.
But then, I started thinking about things that are fragile. To help, I went to answers.com and typed in ‘what things are fragile?’ The answer that showed up: “Glass… and girls’ feelings.” Instead of making me angry and full of feminist self-righteousness, it actually made me laugh. My feelings have been known to get hurt. That made me think. Why are girls’ feelings more fragile than boys? Or, are they? Yes, I decided, I think they are because girls actually think about things in a deeper way than most boys. We analyze. We pick apart. We come up with every possible interpretation of said action/word and, because we are usually in the midst of thinking that our stomachs/butts/arms/legs/face/all of the above is fat/bony/poky/ugly/all of the above we usually convince ourselves that the most offensive, hurtful, degrading interpretation is the one that was intended and use it as evidence that our stomachs/butts/arms/legs/face/all of the above is indeed fat/bony/poky/ugly/all of the above. The problem is that our self worth is not measured by what YOU think (which is actually generally positive), it’s measured by what WE think. This is a problem, of course, because no one is more critical of ourselves than we are.
I read a book not too long ago called “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldridge. This book, while it has some rather deep flaws, does a magnificent job of telling women that, contrary to what our culture/childhoods/jobs/men have made us believe, being “fragile” is not a bad thing. It’s the way we were made, and we were made that way to serve a definite purpose, to compliment all that is not fragile. Being fragile really just means understanding that you’re not all capable, you’re not all strong, you’re not all invincible—and that sometimes you need someone else’s helping hand/encouraging word/hug. Allowing yourself to BE fragile—that’s real strength, and that’s real beauty. So, at the end of my reflecting upon this search term as a way of finding me—I’m deciding to take a bit of pride in it. Maybe I am “fragile” but I might just also be “small and beautiful.”
I have decided that reading the search terms you people use to find me is one of my favorite things about blogging. Keep searching!